i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Randomize
