My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
