are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
