Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
