Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
