Why does Corona taste like a burp?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I'm like, not good at living.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
