It's Friday. Sex?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
