Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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