I'm gonna have a badass scar
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
