"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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