I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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