Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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