I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
