She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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