I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Randomize
