If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
