Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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