grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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