Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
