some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
