Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
