Kareoke will never be a sober sport
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
