After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
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