dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
