yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
