He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
