did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
