I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
