she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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