u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
