I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
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