That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
