party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
