I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
