im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
