Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Randomize
