if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
it was like having sex with a tree stump
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Randomize
