Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
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