Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
