Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
