So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Randomize
