Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Randomize
