Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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