if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
