At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
