I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Randomize
