I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
