He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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