Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
