Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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