I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
